This story keeps on getting better and better
This story keeps on getting better and better
Well, I cried at my coworker today because of the uncertainty of life and employment and she was just asking me to proofread a cover letter, so I’m glad to, you know, have passed on the cycle of angsty rant opportunities.
I appreciate that as well. And for the record, I like having you around, too. Our little corner of the internet would be far duller without your presence. I’m sorry about the uncertainty of life and employment, I’ve been…dealing with that myself, mostly by willfully ignoring the passage of time, which will only end in tears later, but you know.
gretchensinister replied to your post “okay but the real reason I don’t interact with people more is because…”
*hugs* Well, I like having you around, and I assure you I don’t hold you to some hostile and bullshit standard.
I appreciate that. And I know it’s irrational, it’s completely irrational, other people have irrational fears, I have irrational anxieties. And some of the time I can quiet them and then other times it’s late and I’ve had a long day and it’s harder to ignore that little voice that whispers you’ll never be good enough, never. So yeah. I’m turning 25 this year and I’ve lived in shadows and secrets for so long, because I let other people and my own insecurities push me into that space, and I’m so tired of letting that happen, and letting that define me. I made a new years resolution back in January to be less afraid, to not let fear control me, and I’m realizing that a better resolution would be, perhaps, to live more authentically. Not to fit myself into a little box to make other people more comfortable.
And a lot of this comes back to my family, and I really need to actually, finally, conclusively come out to my parents, but I’m so fucking terrified of losing them, like really, I joke about it, but back in the summer after freshman year of undergrad when I accidentally came out to them it was unspeakably horrible until I pulled the ‘just kidding, I was confused’ card and then we never spoke of it again, it’s just this giant elephant in the room now and I hate it and I hate myself for not being able, for not being strong enough to face them down, I went two weeks where my mother wouldn’t look at me and my father quoted bible verses at me and I almost left but I knew if I did I’d never come back and I needed them to finish school, so I fixed it, I recanted.
The worst part is that I know where they’re coming from. I know the codes and creeds they live by, I was indoctrinated in the system of their belief from the cradle. So my poisonous thoughts tell me that they can’t help it, that’s just who they are, it’s what they believe, rationalizing their intolerance and making me the ungrateful wayward child, because they gave me everything, because I was their greatest pride and instead I’ve let myself become their greatest disappointment, and I can’t even get properly angry because I’m so fucking disappointed in myself for hurting them.
Hiccup and Astrid with their dragons, relaxing while on an adventure or something.
and now im pregnant
Trailer: ‘Into the Woods' - Dec 25
Directed by Rob Marshall, written by James Lapine, starring Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick, Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Chris Pine, Lucy Punch, Christine Baranski, James Corden, Mackenzie Mauzy and Tracey Ullman.
How dare they not put any singing in this trailer. Looks like a lot of Disney magic and not much of anything else. Still the cast is reason enough to be excited.
There are 4 different drying lines now.
Someone at the Associated Press must have come in to work still drunk from last night because they accidentally tweeted out the truth, but the mistake was quickly discovered and they apologized.
The Gay Metropolis, page 47, Charles Kaiser (via bibliothekara)
Phelps tells this story herself in the excellent 1984 documentary Before Stonewall, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube (she’s at 19:30, but really, watch the whole thing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX7AxQd82H8
This makes me laugh every time I see it.
star trek 3 starts. we see jim kirk on top of someone as he and the mysterious character are makin’ out on a bed. the lights are off. jim kirk says “i love you” between breaths. there is a silence as both pause. we feel a sense of peculiar deja vu. we wait as suspense builds and the character below him conjures a response. “fascinating.”
what are you getting? also lbr how haven’t you already been disowned?
because my family lives in a state of self denial and as long as I’m not actively bringing up the fact that they should be disowning me, we all live on in mutual polite, though often internally seething, disagreement
my family is literally the living embodiment of don’t ask don’t tell, and as much as i have resented it, up until now their presence in my life has meant too much to me to disrupt that weird balance we’ve nonverbally worked out
i’m old now, it’s time to start rocking the boat ;)
as for my first tattoo, I’m getting an arrow, in a similar placement to this one:
Maybe, if it came with some sort of guarantee? Idk, even then I don’t think I could do it, I’m too much of an independent spirit, and far too vain, lol.
Well at least it’s not the worst thing you could get tattooed, lol. Showing that company pride and all.
This is why I don’t make bets with people.